


Dadgil and Son

by kiapurity



Series: TMoBDaSM AU [2]
Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: DMC Gen Week, Dadgil, Gen, Sam the Researcher
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-21 05:02:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19996303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiapurity/pseuds/kiapurity
Summary: This takes place in the same AU as "Misadventures of Bug Dad and Sexy Mom" ... I decided on "Dadgil and Son" for DMC Gen Week -- all 7 episodes.





	1. Episode 1: “Let’s not tell mom about this”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episode 1: Nero breaks his arm.

It should have been a nice day outside. Vergil thought. Not being stuck at the emergency clinic with a very upset five year old holding his broken arm and wailing at the top of his lungs. They had been outside in the front yard with Nero trying to climb a tree while Vergil was trying to deal with annoying yard work.

He was so deep in concentration, cutting the grass with his sword that he hadn’t heard Nero fall out of the tree. Didn’t realize anything was wrong until that blood curling piercing cry shattered his focus. This might have been the first and only time panic hit him so hard that he dropped Yamato without considering the consequences. His only thought was on grabbing his son and taking him straight to the emergency clinic.

They were only lucky that his mother wasn’t home at the time or she would have strangled him with his cravat for not watching their son. Vergil worried over Nero because he wasn’t sure if Nero had inherited his fast healing abilities despite being a quarter devil. He did seem to have calmed down considerably and started hiccuping.

“Nero?”

“...daddy?”

“Does it still hurt?”

“A little bit.”

The doctor finally came back into the patient room with the x-ray results, holding them up to the light. “Good news, it doesn’t look like there’s anything broken. Probably just a wee bit of a sprain.”

Vergil was so shocked that his mouth hung open for a little while before slowly closing it. He was so sure that Nero’s arm had been broken then that Sparda Family Brain Cell ™ kicked in. Obviously, that healing factor activated.

“T--that’s good.”

“So, nothing to worry about.” The doctor handed Nero a green lollipop. “He’ll just walk it off!”

Nero was pretty pleased by the lollipop, breaking the package open and stuck it in his mouth. Vergil gave his son a funny look before sighing.

“I’m sorry to have caused such trouble.”

“Oh, no. It’s perfectly alright, he is your first born, isn’t he?”

“Yes, that’s true…”

“All is forgiven! He’ll think nothing more of it.”

After that trouble at the clinic, Vergil found Sam the Researcher in the yard with the sword and a demon cheese wheel at their side. 

“What happened?” Sam asked, returning Yamato to Vergil.

“I panicked.”

Sam looked at Nero who had just finished his lollipop and beamed back at the researcher before giving Sam a hug. “I fell out of the tree and broke my arm then it wasn’t broken!”

“Carina is going to strangle you with your cravat if she finds out.” Sam replied dryly, already getting the itch to break out their flask from the jacket.

Vergil twitched and looked at Nero. “We are not going to speak of this to your mother, okay?”

“Okay, daddy.”

Nero beamed and started climbing the tree again, but this time using all four of his arms. Vergil spun around on his heels quickly, bolting after his son. There was some considerable yelling about Nero repeating his mistakes before Nero pointed out that he could fly. The first attempt had gone poorly due to him tripping on a branch. This did not reassure Vergil very much as he tried to convince his son to come back down from the tree without breaking his arm again.

Sam the Researcher sighed and broke out the flask, taking a deep swig from it.


	2. Episode 2: “This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episode 2: in which the twins are forced into a hug competition.

Sam the researcher was constantly trying to find new reasons to not imbibe some alcohol but this was a futile attempt. Today was prompted by Nero who decided that his father and uncle should try to get along better because his mother had complained about worrying about Vergil being a bad influence on Nero regarding sibling relationships. (Nero really wanted to be an older brother someday!) Vergil was naturally offended by this remark, saying that he was fine at being a brother, it was Dante who needed to improve.

And that was when Nero decided that the two should have a contest of who hugs the most and he would personally decide the winner. The prize was a very special secret that Nero refused to reveal. Dante and Vergil both eyed each other with various glares that ranged from “I’ll beat you” to “in your dreams”.

Eva could only give Sam a comforting shoulder rub as they proceeded to watch the twins run furiously everywhere giving out hugs.

“I’m up by one!”

“Where did you learn to count!? We’re even!”

Both Lady and Carina had wisely escaped from the contest on a shopping trip excuse as to not make things too weird for their respective partners. The residents of Red Grave was in for a surprise, getting random hugs out of nowhere.

“Why a hugging contest?” Sparda asked Nero.

“Uncle is very good at hugs, daddy isn’t. So I thought this would help daddy improve if it was a contest.”

“You are very clever for your young age. How about a pet demon cheese--”

Eva tackled Sparda to the ground before he could finish the sentence as Nero looked on. Sam looked at the young boy, shaking their head before realizing that the flask was empty.

“What’s the secret prize?”

“I hug them!”

“And how do they get the prize?”

“They have to hug each other without stabbing each other.” Nero grinned.

He was particularly proud of this plan as you could tell by how brightly he was beaming. It was at this point that Sam realized that the kid was literally glowing as they broke out a notebook to record this information, mumbling something about potential devil trigger that had yet to develop.

The twins came back, worn out from all the hugging. They complained that they already hugged the entire population of Red Grave, being even in score. Nero pointed out that they missed one person and Vergil looked at his precious son, puzzled.

Nero looked from his uncle to his father and just pointed to both of them. “You two! Hug! No stabbing!”

Vergil pinched the bridge of his nose. He should have known. Dante only grinned, holding his arms out for a hug.

“How about a hug, big brother?”

“I--”

Nero gave the saddest pout to his father which only served to break Vergil’s resolve. He narrowed his eyes and moved stiffly towards Dante. Then he wrapped his arms around his brother.

“This will happen only ONCE.”

Then the twins were surprised when Nero hugged both of them. “This is your prize! Hugs from me!”

It was hard to deny how precious this child was as they sighed, still hugging each other. Lady and Carina managed to return from their trip, taking stealth pictures just in case for future blackmail material to make their idiots cooperate. Eva had long since let go of Sparda after that emergency tackling and they were content to watch the boys finally cooperate without much pain (on Dante’s side). Sam sent the demonic cheese wheel off with the empty flask to refill it with the strongest alcohol possible.

“I want to be a big brother too.” Nero spoke up.

“...your mother and I will have to discuss that.”

“Is that what they call it now?” Dante was still grinning.

“For Nero’s sake, I am not stabbing you right now for that.”


	3. Episode 3: “What is sleep, even”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episode 3: It's always challenging to get a child to sleep.

Watching his child sleep soundly took Vergil back to a time when it was bloody difficult to get him to sleep as a baby. It was a constant struggle trying to figure out what could make little Nero fall asleep. Vergil had to be prodded out of bed every time to deal with his son being reminded by his wife that he was largely responsible for Nero’s existence. Which would end up with him reminding his wife that she was equally responsible too before she glared at him out of the bed.

Baby Nero disliked sleeping on his own, driving both of his parents crazy with exhaustion by wailing to be held. That tiny baby had such a strong powerful voice and he was grateful that he only had one baby to deal with. Then he felt badly for his parents who had to deal with both him and Dante as babies. There were times when he called his parents out of panic only to be told to read the books. Then he called Sam the Researcher who just sighed and said that they had no experience in the area and hung up.

Vergil had tried singing just about every possible songs he could remember, including ones from his mother’s favorite musicals. When that failed, he attempted to play the violin and reciting William Blake when the violin didn’t work. And when the poetry didn’t work, he just stood there, looking like a deer stuck in headlights.

What a fool. The one thing that his son wanted most was to be held and it took Vergil way too long to catch on. Eventually, they would fall asleep together in the cozy rocking chair with Nero on his chest and a blanket in Vergil’s lap. Little did they know, Carina had to sneak some pictures for the album.

This would continue until Nero got old enough to be comfortable with sleeping on his own but he would still ask his dad to stay by his side until he fell asleep. Sometimes asking for stories, sometimes just wanting to be held. But always wanting his father by his side as much as possible. Almost as if he was afraid that Vergil wouldn’t be there when he fell asleep.

Now that Nero had been asking about wanting to be a big brother had left Vergil feeling a little worried. Could he deal with a new baby who might want his attention while still giving Nero enough attention? But his parents were able to deal with twins easily enough, so it shouldn’t even be an issue. Besides, Nero was almost nine, old enough to be able to cope with a younger sibling.

He could deal with it, he had this. Mundus had nothing on him, he would be damn best father ever possible (next to Sparda) and make it all work out. But for now, he would spend his time standing vigil over his son.


	4. Episode 4: “First Day of School”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episode 4: Vergil has the first day of school jitters ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I really did make *that* reference.

He was not prepared for this.

After a hastily reached compromise with his wife regarding their son’s education, Nero was finally attending a public school. Not that there was anything bad about interacting with children his age, it was something Vergil and Dante never did. They had each other because their parents simply didn’t know how things would work out with their unusual heritage.

Nero seemed to take this in stride, all excited for school to the point that he made his dad go shopping for supplies. Vergil was so speechless the entire time looking through the list wondering why such a list was necessary in the first place.

“Do… teachers really need tissues?” Vergil asked, feeling as though as he was the one who needed them more.

“Probably. Get some extras!” Nero dumped several boxes in the shopping cart. “Next up: Crayons!”

And so they went to get crayons and Nero explained that they should get the best brand because the store brand wasn't the best quality. Vergil was wondering about where Nero learned how to be extremely picky with something so mundane as crayons. This coming from someone who dressed like a noble prince . . .

“Paper!” Nero dumped some notebook papers in the cart next.

At this point, Vergil was losing track of all the supplies, growing dizzy with so many items. Were classrooms this poorly stocked? He would have to look into this further. Nero proceeded to dump more supplies in the shopping cart then folded the list into his pocket.

“We’re done already?”

“Kind of. I have to pick out my backpack and … maybe a lunchbox.”

“This shouldn’t be hard, right?”

Nero just stared at his father. “You have no clue.”

His son wasn’t kidding as Vergil would discover while they were stuck in front of a wall full of backpacks in varying sizes, colors, and designs. Regret was slowly creeping over him as he looked at Nero.

“Is there anything you want in particular?”

“I dunno, I was thinking maybe Power Rangers one.”

“Yes, I think we should go with that.”

“Power Rangers, it is! I’ll see if they have a matching lunch box!”

Nero tossed the backpack into the cart and took off in a flash. When did his son get so fast? Vergil facepalmed, dragging the shopping cart after his son. After finding the matching lunch box, they went to check out everything they had. Vergil stared at the total speechless, sighed, and forked out the cash.

That evening, Nero was a bundle of energy through dinner. He couldn’t wait for his first day of school and wanting to make new friends but this left Vergil very apprehensive with worry. Would he be accepted by other children since he did inherit his father’s looks…?

“Dear, you’re bending the fork.”

Vergil looked down and carefully bent it back in place, looking sheepishly. “Do you think it would be too much if I went to school with Nero and just shadowed him the entire day?”

“Yes.”

“How about if I just send Shadow to school with him?”

“You cannot send pets to school with him.”

“Shadow is only trained to spike Dante on sight, Carina.”

“Dad, it’s okay.” Nero put his hand on his father’s arm. “I’ve got this.”

“But… I’m not ready.”

The following morning both parents were walking their son to the elementary school. Vergil felt like he hadn’t slept in centuries due to anxiety eating away at him. On the other hand, Nero somehow managed to get just the right amount of sleep, all fresh and ready. His smile was pretty infectious to the point his father could barely manage a weird mixture of a grimace-smile in response.

“Dear, you’re going to scare the children with your face.”

Vergil only slitted his eyes in response to his wife as she pointed out that made it worse. Nero only let out a loud laugh at his parents, still reminding them that he would be okay. There was no need for them to worry so much even though it was Vergil doing all the worrying for the entire family.

“Mom and Dad, I’ll be okay! See you guys after school!”

If it wasn’t for his white hair, Nero would have seamlessly blended into the crowd. Vergil started to step forwards but Carina had grabbed the back of his coat. He let out a loud yelp then sagged his shoulders.

“I’m just worried about how differently he’ll be treated.”

“Relax. Trust him.”

“It’s not that, it’s the other children I don’t trust.” Vergil muttered. “Maybe I should send Griffon…?”

Carina only gave him a withering look before dragging him back to their house with Vergil protesting loudly that he should stay behind to make sure nothing went wrong.


	5. Episode 5: “That nightmare sucked, I want a refund”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episode 5: Nero has a bad dream about a certain island involving a three-eyed statue from hell

Nero found himself on a strange island with a giant castle standing before him. Something about this place felt wrong to him. He didn’t understand why but this was definitely not a place for a scared ten year old. He swallowed, trying to gather his courage as he ran through the entrance, pushing the doors open.

There was this weird feeling like he was being watched by something in the main room which looked considerably ruined with holes in the floor and broken staircases. There was a statue of a man on a horse before him and all the way in the back, there was an especially strange statue of a winged man with three eyes.

He definitely did not like that statue as he shrank away from it, escaping through another door. There were those weird looking dolls dropping from the sky as he thought he saw a flash of red. Uncle Dante? Yes, that was definitely Uncle Dante shooting those dolls to pieces.

“Uncle! Uncle! Can you hear me?” Nero shouted.

No such luck. Was he being ignored or was he really here? Nero didn’t know as he kept following his uncle through the castle, watching with intense curiosity as small lava spiders scrambled under a door. Still tried to call out for his uncle but it was as if he couldn’t hear him at all. 

So many odd looking enemies in this castle, including ghostly masked figures with giant scissors. Did their mom ever tell them not to run (well, float) with scissors? Though those kitty blobs were pretty cute, they still had the unfortunate tendency to spike Dante on sight. Dante only sighed with a “this is fine” expression on his face.

Then there was that strange armored man that left Nero feeling sick. This man was familiar to him but he couldn’t tell why. The fight between the armored man and his uncle was difficult to watch as he trembled behind a balcony, hands on his mouth. When the armored man disappeared in a flash of lightning, Dante came back up to the balcony intent on continuing his quest.

Nero yelled out and tackled his uncle who finally now realized that he was there the entire time.

“Whoa! Hey there. What’s a kid like you doing in this place? I thought it was abandoned?”

“I don’t live here, you dummy! You know who I am!” Nero yelled, stomping his foot. “Have you forgotten me already?!”

Dante scratched his head. “I don’t really have the time for this… ouch. I gotta get this thing set up… ow, my health.”

“Come back here, you coward!” Nero yelled, chasing after his uncle.

“You’re one determined kid, reminds me of---” Dante froze in his tracks. “Could it be…? No, that can’t be right.”

“IDIOT UNCLE!”

“That answers it.” Dante put his hands on his hips, staring down the angry nephew. “Why are you here?”

“I don’t know! I was asleep and I woke up here! What the hell is this place?”

“You’ve got a mouth. This is Mallet Island, I don’t really have the time for babysitting.”

“Then give me one of your guns, I can defend myself.”

“YOU’RE JUST A KID.”

“You’ll still need my help anyway.” Nero grumbled. “I’m small and can get into places you can’t.”

“...valid.”

“The monsters have been ignoring me for the most part anyway. Except for that weird statue back there with three eyes. Something is wrong with it.”

“You thought so, too?”

And so Nero shadowed Dante for rest of the journey in the castle, unlocking puzzles and hiding from particularly difficult boss fights. Still, he was proving himself to be handy in battle, grabbing a few shocked enemies who weren’t expecting the ghostly arm. Dante wasn’t expecting it either and only shrugged with “This might as well happen”. The kid wasn’t too bad in battle, handling himself pretty well for a ten year old.

Only time might tell when he grew up, could probably be something of a contender in a battle, Dante thought to himself. As long as he didn’t get stabbed in the process which seemed to be a running joke his entire life. That still stung from Alastor flying into his chest earlier, but he brushed off the pain.

“I really don’t like this place.” Nero complained.

“Me either, but I’ve gotta clean up this place.” Dante sighed. “It’s just another job.”

“Do you even get paid for this at all?”

“...I should have asked for an advance payment but I got a motorcycle instead.”

“UNCLE.”

“It was thrown at me.”

Nero just shot his uncle a withering look before complaining about wanting to wake up in his comfortable bed and spend the day playing with Kyrie. How was he going to get back to her if he was stuck on this dumb island with his equally dumb uncle who seemed to be clueless. He also had the sinking feeling that he was here on this island to get someone back.

Another encounter with the armored man in which Dante clearly was tired of fighting and just threw a vial of holy water, making the armored man hiss before vanishing. Nero stared at Dante with a questioning look as if he was trying to ask why Dante hadn’t considered using it before only to get told it was a spur of the moment thing.

Funny, that made Nero think about how much his father hated being sprayed with holy water. Wait a second? Was that-- no, that couldn’t be right. Last time he saw his father, it was at bed time when he tucked Nero in the bed and read a book to him. Nero shook his head before yanking on his uncle’s coat.

“I have a bad feeling about that armored man.”

“Eh? Yeah, he doesn’t talk.”

“IDIOT UNCLE!”

Nero was sulking for the rest of the day as Dante sighed loudly at his nephew, unable to get any more words out of the kid. Evening had just arrived and it made the castle look even more ominous than ever with such limited lighting but this didn’t deter Nero any. The armored man was bothering him too much, leaving him in such brooding silence.

The third battle with the armored man only provided Nero correct when he arrived without his helmet. His skin was an odd shade of gray with dark veins spreading on his visible face. Nero was wobbling over the fact that his father had become this very thing, trapped in the armor, a mute servant of a monster who did this. Helplessly watching as both his father and uncle fought against each other. No, he should stop this. Stop stop stop please stop stop stop.

Nero threw himself between them, trying to stop his father from hitting his uncle. Still too little to be able to use his power fully but the ghostly arm was straining from holding the broad sword.

“Kid… get out of the way!”

“No! Don’t fight my dad! Stop! No more…”

Then the voice of Mundus echoed through the room, demanding that Vergil must finish the battle and kill his twin. Nero’s ghost arm faded, being knocked to the side by his father and watching with horror as Dante’s sword pierced through---

He gave out a loud yell, falling out of the bed with a loud thud. He panted loudly, realizing that he was back in his bedroom. Nero finally freed himself from the blanket that he had gotten tangled up in. So it was just a very bad nightmare after all and everything should be okay, right?

No, he needed to be sure that his dad was okay. Nero walked to his parents’ bedroom, the door open as he slid in. Standing at his father’s side of the bed, it was a great relief to him to watch his father sleep soundly. He was about to leave his father’s side before Vergil opened an eye.

“Nero?”

“Yeah?”

“I thought you were in your bed. What’s the matter?”

Nero sniffled a little bit, trying not to cry. “I had a really bad dream and I… don’t really want to go back to that nightmare.”

“Come on, then. Get in bed and I’ll make sure the nightmares won’t come back. You can tell me about it.”

Nero crawled into the bed between his parents and snuggled in. “Uncle Dante was there.”

“He is a nightmare in real life too.”

“DAD. No, this was Mallet Island.”

Nero began describing the place in detail and Vergil frowned, having not revealed much of anything about his trip to the island not too long ago. Yet, Nero’s descriptions made it sound as if he had been there.

“You were wearing some kind of armor and you looked sick, like you couldn’t talk. There was this creepy voice ordering you to kill uncle.”

“Ah, I don’t need a voice to order me to do such a thing. It was just a bad dream, Nero. The voice can’t bother you.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, your uncle and I personally took care of that voice in real life. He won’t bother anyone ever again.”

“Okay…” Nero closed his eyes.

Damn right, Vergil took no small pleasure in ending Mundus’ miserable existence for the constant harassment during his entire childhood with the attempted murders by the army at various times. Thankfully, Nero would never have to worry about being hunted by a monster as long as Vergil was around.


	6. Episode 6: “Vergil always goes the extra mile”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episode 6: Nero learns about ... culture and history on his 11th birthday.

Today was Nero’s 11th birthday, so Vergil decided to treat his son to something a little different today at his wife’s suggestion: a musical! Trying to pick the right one was nerve wracking with Vergil scanning the newspaper to see what was playing today. Hopefully tickets shouldn’t be too hard to get.

“What are you up to, dad?” Nero was at Vergil’s side, regarding him with suspicion.

“Just some family bonding time for your birthday.”

“Does that involve stabbing uncle Dante?”

“No.”

“Thank god.” Nero sighed. “That was getting old.”

“I’ve found a new way of venting my issues, timing him whenever he talks.”

“Dad, please. You’re just going to get sprayed with holy water again.”

Vergil twitched at the memory. It was an accidental discovery way back at Temen Ni Gru when he had a momentary rant about needing power to the point Dante sighed and chucked the holy water container at him. He didn’t expect it to burn that much but that shouldn’t be surprising in light of his heritage.

“Son, we’re just going to see a musical. Is there anything in particular you want to see?”

Musicals? Nero sighed. There was no way of getting out of this one. Thanks to his father’s unusual upbringing, he had been schooled in the fine arts and seemed hard pressed to impart some of that knowledge to his son. If it wasn’t for his mother constantly reminding him to mellow out on it because Nero needed a reasonably normal childhood, like the one she had for a little while. He complained that it was never too early to start learning the classics. His parents could be really stupid stubborn sometimes…

“So, mom’s okay with this?”

“She suggested it.”

“Are you serious? Well, fine then. What would you recommend for me?”

“How about ‘Sound of Music’? You’ll get some decent history lessons from this.”

Nero facepalmed. “Sure, dad.”

\--

He had to admit that the musical wasn’t too bad and even found himself enjoying it. They even went to get some ice cream after the show was over. Nero felt like he should try to understand his father a little better since he was growing up. He was pretty sure his father had similar apprehensions about Nero’s future teenage years.

“Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“You doing okay?”

“I’m fine.”

Nero squinted at his father. “No, you’re not. You’re nervous.”

“Yes. Between you and the twins that are coming soon, I’m just wondering if I’ve been a good father.”

“Trust me, I turned out okay so far.” Nero sighed. “We still have more time together.”

“Correct.”

Vergil bit into the last of his cone, eating the waffle piece then stood up. Nero went over to the trash can to dispose of the paper bowl and held the door open for his father. The two were heading back to the cottage, still having a healthy discussion about the musical and history.

When they got inside and the lights were turned on, Nero was greeted with a blast of “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” that nearly knocked him off his feet. He glared at his entire family then back at his father.

“Was that why mom suggested the musical?”

“Kind of.”

Nero groaned, facepalming then brightened once he saw Kyrie pop out of the crowd. He ran over to her, immediately greeting her with a hug. They started chattering away about their days as Sam the Researcher slid up to Vergil.

“I hope you forgive me for the presents I ahem, commissioned for Nero.”

“What?” Vergil looked at the researcher. “As long as they’re good enough, it should be fine.”

“You only have your family to blame for this madness.”

The cake was brought out with the candles and the birthday song was sung in unison. Nero blew out all eleven candles and demanded to cut the cake pieces out himself so everyone could get a fair share (no cutting huge pieces for themselves like Dante tried one year). The presents were brought out as he opened each one of them and thanked the gift giver.

Finally, Sparda brought in two boxes of varying sizes, placing them before Nero. “Sam got this for you! I am so proud of our family chronicler.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Sam waved their embarrassment off.

Nero popped open the first box, there was a blue gun and he looked surprised, if not outright pleased. Vergil glared at Sam before wincing from Carina’s glare. The second box revealed a red sword with an engine attachment and both parents stared at Sam.

“Hey, I said your family is to blame for THIS. How old were you and Dante when you got your weapons!?”

“I think they were babies then…” Sparda muttered. “Eva made me put them up every time I tried to give their swords to them year after year. I only managed to succeed on their eighth birthday.”

“Do they have names?” Kyrie asked Nero who looked surprised. “I mean, your family names their weapons…”

“Well… I guess.” Nero sighed, staring at his parents. “I suppose I’d just name them after the toughest people I know, so they can always be with me. So, Blue Rose and Red Queen, it is.”

“You named the gun after your father?” Dante nearly choked with laughter and ducked a flying stopwatch.


	7. Episode 7: "Family Vacation"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episode 7: Family vacations aren't necessarily relaxing.

The entire clan were at Sparda and Eva’s house, discussing -- more like arguing over where they wanted to go on a vacation. Sam the Researcher was busy sleeping off a hangover on the couch with their head between pillows to block out the argument. Brie, the cheese wheel was fast asleep on top of Sam’s body with Colby sitting on top of Brie.

“We should go skiing!” Dante exclaimed, ignoring the withering stare from his older twin.

“...in the summer?”

“Well, you can make it snow, can’t you?”

“Not enough for that. Unless you want to do extreme rock skiing then that’s perfectly fine with me.”

“That actually kind of sounds good.” Sparda said.

“No.” Eva interrupted. “How about a nice visit to an island?”

Sam sat up immediately. “NOPE.”

“I wasn’t talking about Fortuna.” Eva sighed, ignored Sparda’s sudden sweating fit. “I meant somewhere else. We could visit the restaurants, shops, and more importantly the museums!”

“Why not a beach?” Everyone looked at Trish. “Well, I mean, I’ve always wanted to visit one… but. I’m a lightning demon.”

“BEACH IT IS!” Nero yelled at the top of his lungs. “Anyone object to this?”

“Swimsuits…” both Carina and Lady moaned in unison. They both felt way too fat at the moment and their spouses could argue otherwise against it but wouldn’t out of fear.

A pregnant woman was scary. Two pregnant women could promise the end of the world if provoked just the right way. The husbands slowly slid out of the room as Nero watched them flee promptly. Cowards, he thought.

“Worry not, ladies! We’ll go shopping and we can find something for everyone. And especially for you too, Trish.” Eva smiled, escorting them out of the house.

“Is it safe yet?” Dante called out.

Sam glowered at the twins hiding behind the couch. “You two are cowards.”

“Hey, we can’t help it that our wives like to shoot.”

“And they have precision aiming.”

Nero came into the living room, angrily pointing at his male relatives. “COWARDS!”

“Kid, you’ll learn when you’re older.”

Sam rolled their eyes. Then remembered what kind of person Kyrie was and went quiet for a moment. Brie chirped and rolled off of Sam’s body with Colby not too far behind.

“It was just a strategic retreat, son.” Vergil said, expressionless. “Shouldn’t we prepare for the vacation?”

“Yes, dad! Let’s get stuff! Oh, can I invite Kyrie and Credo too?!”

“You may.”

After the initial preparations were done, the day for the beach vacation finally arrived. The entire clan made it to the local beach. Sam shared an umbrella with Trish who had managed to pick out a cute swimsuit with lightning bolt theme. Sadly, Sam didn’t even bother with swimwear, instead of optioning for the researcher coat and a wide brimmed hat and a pair of neon green sunglasses with palm trees on either side. Brie was by Sam’s side, wearing an umbrella hat that somehow was customized for the wheel. Sparda was one crafty genius when he could be. However, Colby had escaped into one of Sam’s pockets and they hoped it wasn’t the one with the flask.

Eva and Sparda were both setting up the grill, preparing kebab sticks for lunch while the kids were busy building sandcastles. Nero was intently focused on building the best one to impress Kyrie. On the other hand, Dante and Vergil were studying a large watermelon. Both twins weren’t sure what one would do with a watermelon before Dante pointed out that maybe they should smash it with a stick. Vergil called Dante a fool, only people with any sense would use a sword.

The two were attempting to duel with both of their swords out and Sam looked at Trish. “Think you should stop them?”

“Too risky using my powers with them so close to the water.”

“Good point.”

Their respective spouses only sighed and went back to sipping cold drinks under another umbrella on their beach chairs. The best thing they could do at the moment was to let their beloved idiots fight it out.

“The pieces should be even for everyone.” Vergil scowled at Dante. “You cut so sloppily!”

“That’s rich coming from you. You cut everything to the point there’s NOTHING left!”

Nero groaned and told Kyrie and Credo to wait for him. He proceeded to stalk past his idiot relatives and expertly cut up the watermelon with the Red Queen. They both stared at the boy, having completely forgotten that Nero packed his sword too. 

He pointed at both of them, “This is a vacation, quit being idiots! Do you two even know how to have fun?”

Then the boy grumbled and went back to his friends, leaving the twins feeling pretty sheepish for their usual competition streak (and being defeated by Nero’s superior cutting technique). Sam rolled their eyes and took a sip out of the flask having begged everyone earlier not to pack their weapons but of course no, they got ignored. Not sure how they were able to fit the rocket launcher in the family van but they managed it.

It wasn’t as if they were going to have their vacation ruined by a surprise demon attack but you never knew with this Sparda clan. Mundus was rightfully defeated to the extent that he would never be able to return and Sam didn’t know the details on that and they weren’t sure if they wanted the details either. 

Sam decided to slide out from under the umbrella to investigate the sandcastle the kids were cooperating on. It was quite a thing of beauty, slowly expanding in scale and detailing with Kyrie using the seashells to decorate.

Credo noticed Sam and spoke up, “I haven’t seen you around in a while.”

“Ehhhh.” Sam made a coughing sound. “Not really that inclined to return home considering that researcher.”

“You mean Angus?”

“SHHHH. DO NOT SPEAK OF THE CURSED NAME.”

“Okay… what did he do?”

Sam stared at the teenager. “I don’t even know where to start. Wait, are you a recruit now…?”

“Yeah. Started recently too.”

“I only hope you can change the organization from the inside out. You’ve got a good heart. Please don’t let them ruin you.”

“Lunch!” Eva called out. “Make sure you let your stomach settle after eating before you go swimming again!”

After food was dished out, Trish found herself enjoying being with the family. They seemed to care about each other in their own ways and it was so heartfelt compared to her existence as Mundus’ creation. It was a bit lonely by herself on the island even though she could come and leave any time she wanted to. However, none of the other creations or other devils cared to associate with her. She was just a little more than an afterthought to Mudus, a weapon to be used against the twins. The fact that Eva openly accepted her despite Trish being created in Eva’s image made her cry for the first time in her life.

Such warmth was something she didn’t think she could ever attain. Trish would fight like hell to keep the warmth and the family safe. This was what it meant to be a part of the Sparda family. 

Brie chirped next to Trish, asking her if she was going to swim in the ocean. Trish laughed and said that she didn’t think it would be a good idea, being a lightning devil and all. She wandered over to the other sitting spot where the other women were. They looked tired and sweaty but were discussing names.

“I think we’ve finally settled on Riza… but what if there’s two girls…” Carina put her head in her hands. “I’ve never seen the sonogram technician so stressed out trying to find the genders.”

“At least you can ask Eva for advice on stubborn twins.” Lady laughed. “Ann is easy enough for now.”

“You don’t want karma to sneak up on you like that.”

“I’ll be waiting for it with a rocket launcher.”

“I’m not sure it works that way.” Trish replied. “Mind if I sit with you guys?”

“You’re more than welcome to!” Carina shuffled over slightly as best as she could to make a spot for Trish to sandwich herself between the two women.

“How are you doing?” Lady asked Trish.

“Not too bad. All this freedom is mind-blowing and this family is … certainly unique.”

Unique was rather an understatement and they all knew it, having ended up being a part of the family in their own crazy ways. Brie was trying to avoid the toasty sand with their tiny demon legs, skittering past the women on a surfboard. They simply watched the demon cheese wheel skitter past without a word.

“Then there’s that.” Trish remarked. “How?”

“It’s best not to ask.” Lady groaned. “Sparda would be too happy to show you the demon dairy farming.”

Trish filed this information away quickly. It was a little strange for someone who was feared as the dark knight and who was once Mundus’ trusted right-hand man to be such a weird dork with a penchant for coming up with things that would make people go “Are we even talking about the same devil?!”

Meanwhile, Nero was standing before the sandcastle that was finally built with joint cooperation from Kyrie and Credo. “Grandpa! Grandma! Look what we made!”

“Oh my, that’s so beautiful.” Eva gasped. “All the decorative work… Kyrie! You’re so talented!”

She whipped out a camera, taking pictures of the hard work because she knew that in the next five minutes, Dante would end up crashing into the castle. And he did.

“IDIOT UNCLE!” Nero shook his fists angrily at his uncle. “LOOK WHAT YOU DID!”

“It was an accident! I was trying to dodge your dad’s summoned swords!”

Nero glared at Vergil who quickly unsummoned the blue swords. “...he dunked me in the ocean?”

“BAD DAD.”

The twins were now being chased by an angry eleven year old with spectral blue arms out, threatening to dunk them for this trouble. Eva sighed, putting the camera away.

“Think they’ll still be alive after Nero’s done with them?” Sam the Researcher asked Eva.

“...just in case, I’m going to look for the first aid kit now.” Eva said as she went off to search for the kit in question.

“They’ve got to keep in fighting shape somehow.” Sparda said. “Since we haven’t seen any activity lately, this might be the best way.”

“...ok.” Sam sighed.

Colby popped out of a pocket and made a little scree sound at Sparda before going back into hiding.

“I take it that Colby is permanent?”

Sam nodded slowly, patting their pocket gently. There was no need to remember the time that Brie had briefly split ten small cheese wheels off in an experiment and ate them later. Sam almost didn’t recover from that shock.

Kyrie came up to the two. “Is there any way to get Nero’s attention?”

“I dunno, just yell his name or something. I promise you that he’ll listen.”

“Alright.” Kyrie let out a loud yell. “HEY! NERO! LET’S GO SWIMMING ALREADY!”

Nero had Dante in a stronghold, distracted by Kyrie’s yelling while Vergil wisely took advantage of the situation to escape. “Be right there--” Dante had now escaped in turn. Nero groaned and gave up, going off with Kyrie to swim.

“That kid is going to be something when he gets older. Ow, my neck.”

“I know. I’m both proud and worried.” Vergil muttered. “I’m afraid that he’s growing up too fast for me.”

“At least you’ll have a new set of twin terrors.”

Vergil sighed a small “augh” before burying his face in his hands while Dante gave out a hearty chuckle before saying “ow” from a new bruise. The two could only be proud of what they managed to achieve in their lives with the knowledge that the future held a great many things of mystery and promised chaos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it for "Dadgil and Son" for DMCGENWEEK! Thank you guys for sticking with me. <3 There will be a new series featuring a Teen Nero and his younger twin siblings in the works :D


End file.
